I knew going Blank for a consecutive week was bound to backfire sooner or later. Seems like it happened later this time.


Some days you feel high, while other days you just wanna huddle in a corner and cry. Tonight it seems that my emotions have chosen the latter. No reason i guess. I feel like making myself read chem bonding now but i doubt it'll be of any use since i cant concentrate. Well, if i can i wouldnt be feeling like this huh ?


I'm very, very depressed now, for no reason that i know of. There are some possible causes but i dont really want to think of them much now since actually i have an idea it might lead back to that.

This reminds myself of the period nearing O levels when i couldnt take it and broke down that afternoon. Sitting in the corner of the classroom by myself, scribbling in my diary and shouting at everyone that entered to leave. Because of a fear of not performing and because of the problems with him that resurfaced then.

I'm grateful for KangLi and Karen who woke me up. For KangLi's "We are your friends and so we wont walk out on you just because you shouted at us" and for holding onto that source of catharsis which became an addiction. Now, to get survive this monster called GCSE, just like back then.



Certain things are not done because they cost too much to risk doing.